#4 Is Stoicism Beneficial For Women?
Brenda Conlon breaks down this topic in today's guest newsletter
“No role is so well suited to philosophy as the one you happen to be in right now.”
— Marcus Aurelius
I am going to admit, when I first heard the term “Stoicism” I met it with a lot of resistance. Misconstruing it to be related to the noun stoic, or what the noun has come to mean in recent years; cold and completely unemotional.
I had also never heard a woman being described as stoic, and this had deepened my misconception. Any time I heard someone being described as stoic, it was usually used as a means of describing an uber-masculine and sometimes toxic person. I thought the philosophy could be linked to misogyny, thinking my “womanly” emotions could be seen as a weakness.
I don’t mind admitting I was wrong on this, as Stoicism has helped me become a better person in almost all aspects of my life. Stoicism as a philosophy emphasises the development of self-control and resilience in the face of adversity, and the common misconception of the Stoic rejection of ALL emotion is simply that. It gives people the tools to cope with negative emotions and express gratitude and enhance positive emotions.
In ancient Greece and Rome, women were not typically given the same opportunities for education and philosophical study as men, therefore, Stoicism was primarily developed and practised by men. Contrary to the beliefs at the time, a lot of the Stoic academics (especially Musonius Rufus) believed that women should have access to their teachings to gain wisdom and learn about the virtues. As time went on, there has been a huge influx of women who have studied, written about and applied Stoicism in their daily lives.
Key Takeaways:
Through Stoicism, I have learned what I value as most important in my life. I practise gratitude on a daily basis, which has allowed me to forge better relationships and closer bonds with my loved ones. Through exercises such as the Dichotomy of control I have vastly reduced the amount of anxiety I feel. I have effectively rewired my brain so as to not overthink as much as I did beforehand.
Society in general has steered women to have more people-pleasing tendencies than men and holds the likeability-factor in women in a lot higher regard than with men. This, for me, translated into constantly worrying about what other people thought of me, battling imposter syndrome and paranoia of this for most of my life. Whilst you have direct control of how you treat people, other people's perception of you is beyond your control, therefore it is crucial to not let this worry consume you.
Getting to learn myself better through philosophy has freed a lot of the time I once spent on relying on certain vices to silence my anxiety or negative thoughts, and helped me become more in-tune with the things that bring joy.
There are some incredible modern women, who champion Stoicism right now, a few of these include:
In a nutshell, Stoicism can be beneficial for anyone, regardless of gender. It is a Philosophy for living well, and is totally equalitarian by design. Transcending over gender, race and wealth. It promotes the ability to accept what cannot be changed, and to focus on what can be changed. Additionally, it encourages the development of virtue and wisdom, which can be beneficial for anyone in the pursuit of meaning and purpose in their life.
A quote for the weekend ahead
“If someone asks you how to write your name, would you bark out each letter? And if they get angry, would you then return the anger? Wouldn’t you rather gently spell out each letter for them? So then, remember in life that your duties are the sum of individual acts. Pay attention to each of these as you do your duty . . . just methodically complete your task.”
— Marcus Aurelius
Thanks for letting me write a guest piece! I had a lot of fun writing it