Hello again comrades. I’ve never written an article on this concept before, but I have talked about it at length in different forms. You may already be familiar with this phrase from modern writers and authors, and whilst it’s not directly related to Stoicism, seems to have cemented itself as a staple of modern Stoic practice. Mostly because of the connotations of acceptance and self-control in the face of adversity.
Returning to the beginning; the Latin origins of the phrase of amor fati can be directly translated to mean “love of fate”, or “love of one’s fate”. At its core it is a philosophical concept that emphasises the acceptance of all aspects of our lives, yes including the bad stuff. Today we’ll look at the originators of the phrase, how it links up with Stoicism, and ways to think about applying this mantra to your way of thinking.
Where does it come from?
My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it—all idealism is mendacity in the face of what is necessary—but love it.
Friedrich Nietzsche, 1888 (1908 published), Ecce Homo, Why I Am So Clever, 10
We will start with this quote from the fanatic Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. Take the time to read it out to yourself. It’s something we’ve heard repeated in different formats throughout the last number of years, and the Ancient Greeks and Romans were using a different kind of phrasing when they were theorising about the challenges they faced, and how to accept them with equanimity.
My favourite description of this concept comes from Robert Greene, the author and strategist describes who writes:
Through Nietzsche, I discovered amor fati. I just fell in love with the concept because the power that you can have in life of accepting your fate is so immense that it’s almost hard to fathom. You feel that everything happens for a purpose, and that it is up to you to make this purpose something positive and active.
Deeply rooted in Stoicism
One Google or Chat GPT search will show you how much this mantra has been engrained in modern Stoic practice. And while the Stoics didn’t entirely embrace this mantra in later years, it’s similarity to the words of our famed Stoics would point us towards amor fati. Epictetus, Marcus and Seneca echoed this very sentiment in words and writings, several times.
Instead of focusing on their words which are widely available online. I’m going to attempt to draw you in with one my favourite analogies from Stoicism which originated from one of the three founders of the school. The metaphor goes something like this:
Imagine a dog that is tied to a cart. The dog is trying to pull the cart, but it cannot move it because it is tied to it. The dog's natural instinct is to keep pulling, even though it cannot move the cart.
The dog represents our desire to control external events in our lives. Just like the dog pulling the cart, we often try to control things that are outside of our control, such as other people's actions or the weather. The result is frustration and disappointment, just like the dog's inability to move the cart. The cart represents the things in life that are outside of our control. Just like the cart is too heavy for the dog to move, there are many things in life that we simply cannot change, no matter how hard we try.
I know there are arguments that the dog could break free from the cart, and other scenarios, but let’s focus on the original version for the purpose of this article, to encapsulate the amor fati attitude.
How to use it
I’ll start this section with some references to how a persons untimely circumstances may hurry the use of amor fati into practice. For example someone who is diagnosed with a chronic illness must then decide to dwell, or embrace their condition in order to make the most of their life; despite the awful challenges it brings. Or indeed an athlete who suffers a serious injury that forces them to an early retirement for their chosen sport. They have two choices, either resent the injury and choose the sour path, or indeed focus on the positives of their achievements and rally towards a new path in life.
Sound simple right? Well unfortunately most of won’t just be able to switch over to this way of thinking. Like anything I’ve ever written or talked about through these medium’s I write on - it’s going to require some learning about the concept, reading how others have dealt with situations and then applying that your own life.
A dedicated amount of time spent with this mantra requires a shift in mindset and a willingness to accept and embrace whatever life throws your way. I’d like to help you on your way to this, and remind myself how to practice using amor fati. So here are a few steps to get us started:
Accept circumstances: We must start by acknowledging our current situation and accepting it for what it is. This means recognising that some things are beyond our control and that fighting against them only causes more suffering. Sound familiar? Think of Epictetus and the Dichotomy of Control.
Find meaning in your life: Rather than dwell on the negative aspects of your circumstances, look for the lessons and opportunities they provide. This could mean finding new ways to grow, learn, and connect with others around.
Focus on what you can control: While there may be aspects of our fates that are beyond our control, there are likely still some things we can influence. Focus our energy on these areas and work to make the most of them.
Look for something good: Even when faced with challenging circumstances, try to find things to be grateful for. This could be as simple as appreciating the people in your life, the beauty of nature, or the fact you’re still here.
Embrace uncertainty: Life is full of uncertainty, and the future is never guaranteed. Rather than fearing the unknown, learn to embrace it and see it as an opportunity for growth and exploration.
So challenge it - let us see where embracing amor fati can get us? Maybe for you its nowhere, but at least try to embrace this mindset for your own sake. Life isn’t and won’t be easy, that’s one guarantee. As Marcus Aurelius reminds us: “A blazing fire makes flame and brightness out of everything that is thrown into it.”
Here’s an excellent video resource on amor fati if you prefer to learn that way: